HOW OUR 'NOBILITY' LOST US THE WORLD CUP...

Now I am really disappointed that we're not gonna get the World Cup here just as much as the next person, as I think that it really was the best place and that the tournament deserves to come back to the nation that created it. However... the way the papers have handled everything is actually embarassing!

The minute the results were announced, the press started claiming it was a 'fix' and that Fifa bosses were all 'corrupt'.

Though they may be right, it just made us look like really bad losers. I mean, the Russians are actually going to love the fact that the British media are throwing their toys out of the pram. We could have at least had a little dignity in losing, knowing that we were wronged, but now we just look pathetic.

And... I'm not being funny, but telling the world that Fifa bosses were 'corrupt' before the bid had even got properly underway didn't help things in the slightest. I mean, it's like bullying a kid at school for a month and then asking to have some of his sweets- it's not gonna happen.

To be fair, they were probably right about the corruption in the Fifa camp, but why did they have to go and tell everyone and ruin our bid?

The press are trying to claim that they were being 'noble' and claiming 'the public had the right to know'. That's rubbish. They just wanted to flog a few more copies of their moany papers!

And anyway, why does our country always have to be the 'noble one'? Why, for once, can't we just shut our big gobs and let something good happen just for a change? I mean, take Iraq for example. All Bush had to do was give Tony B a little call and before you knew it, our boys were out in Iraq with old Blair spouting some rubbish about WMDs that he'd no doubt thought up after a heavy night on the tiles.

We've got to realise that we can't save the fricking world- why don't we just do something or ourselves once in a while?

What we should have done about the World Cup decision, is just to have said "Oh that's shit isn't it" and moved the hell on. Surely that's better than spending pointless hours and page space moaning and throwing a tantrum.

Hopefully by next time, people will realise they need to shut the hell up and not bite the hand that feeds them!

Photo Credit: Getty Images

IS KATHERINE'S PHOTOSHOOT CUTE OR CLASSLESS?

Now, I am the first person to admit just how gorgeous Katherine Heigl's adopted daughter Naleigh is- in fact I wrote a blogpost last week saying just that...

However, my initial reaction wasn't of joy when I saw this photoshoot that Miss Heigl did for 'W Magazine'.

Other sites have called in 'cute' and 'one for the photoalbum', but couldn't she have just had some pictures taken in private for her personal photoalbum? It seems a bit silly to have pictures in there that the whole nation can get their hands on too...

I'm sure Katherine loves her daughter very much and is a very good Mum, but I have to admit, it seems like the baby is a bit of an accessory in this shoot.

Maybe she should of let Naleigh make her own mind whether or not she wanted to be thrusted into the celebrity spotlight when she was old enough to make the decision herself.

KELVIN MCKENZIE IS AN IDIOT

Generally, I'm not into slamming other journo's, unless they say something that reaaaaly pisses me off. And this man, if you can even call him that, definitely has.

First of all he slags off my Uni course, which I can assure you is one of the best journalism courses in the country considering it's the only one NCTJ-accredited fully, and then I glanced at his column this week (to see what rubbish he's come out with) and he's moaning about gay people- saying he 'had to walk straight out of a bar' when he knew it was a Gay Bar.

Why the hell is 'The Sun', the most popular tabloid in the country, paying this twat to spew out such homophobic nonsense? Surely this type of prejudice shouldn't be allowed in our national newspapers these days... especially from some snooty idiot that just uses his column for his weekly moan.

The Sun may think he's good for their paper because he generates a lot of viewer opinion on his writing- but I can assure you it's not good. Anyone that I've ever met just thinks he is an idiot and should not be getting his pre-historic views aired to the nation on a weekly basis.

Why not just get rid of the loser and give us someone, younger and fresher who's opinions actually matter and who we really care about.

Yeh?

NICK CLEGG= LIAR

I'm actually FURIOUS that the government has allowed Universities to charge up to £9000 for a degree- it's ridiculous!

I thought £3,000 was bad enough- with the average student coming out of Uni with about £20,000 debt if they live away from home, but now it's gonna be nearly £40,000

How the hell are normal people meant to afford that?

Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg PROMISED us that he'd vote against the rising of student fees if elected- that's the reason why many young people voted for him- and look what he's done- just bowed down to the posh twat that's David Cameron and showed just how little backbone he's got.

What a joke.

Many university students are now fighting back- with a huge protest in London organized for next week. I encourage everyone who can to attend and show the government that we aren't taking this lightly.

ROONEY'S A DISGRACE

What is it with this country? Why do we feel the need to reward the idiots and to treat our real heroes with no respect?

I mean, while most of the country is suffering huge cuts- unemployment is up and parents are now getting no child support, the absolute LOSER that is Wayne Rooney receives an £8 million pay rise- yes 8 FRICIN' MILLION.

It's a joke, quite frankly.

This now means Rooney is the highest-earning player in the world- earning £250,000 a week.

It's absolute idiocy, I mean, this is the guy that invited a prortitute back to his wife's bed when she was PREGNANT, slept with a grandma called 'Auld Slapper' and has been seen acting drunk and disorderly on numerous ocasions.

Furthermore he treated Alex Ferguson, who's probably the best footballl manager Britain has seen, with the littlest respect ever this week- messing him around until he finally signed the 5-year renewal contract.

AND... he hasn't even been playing well! I mean, just take the world cup, he was, quite frankly, shit. I was forever screaming at the screen to 'get him off' as he just played awful and was definitely bringing the side down.

So, taking this all into consideration, why the fuck is he being paid so much? And why are the fans happy to see him back? If I was a Man U supporter, I'd have been pleased that I was finally getting rid of the cheating, lying, scumbag once and for all.

THE U.S. SKINS SEEMS A BIT CRINGE...

The trailer for MTV's American version of channel 4 show 'Skins' has been released today, and I must say, it's all a bit cringeworthy!

I don't know if it's the U.S. accents or whether they've just got the whole setup wrong or what, but it just seems really false and forced to me.

The whole beauty about the original 'Skins' is that it wasn't overdone and was just trying to represent normal lives, but if it isn't like that in America, I don't know why they're trying to make it out like it is...

Anyway CLICK HERE to see the trailer so you can judge for yourselves...!

'SOCIAL NETWORK': REVIEW

Okay, so a film about Facebook didn't seem the most riveting of ideas to me when I first heard about it- I mean, how much can you say about some guys creating a website??

But... once I saw the trailer for 'Social Network' I started to change my mind. First of all it starred Jesse Eisenberg in the lead role- and I just LOVED him in 'Adventureland', then I started to realise that I really was interested in the back-story of what is the most-used social networking site in the world.

I mean, we always seem to just accept things that are there and never really question how they came about. We don't realise that the simple things we use everyday, without taking a blind bit of notice, is the basis of someone elses life and that they've worked tirelessly to create it.

So basically, I just did a massive U-turn and thought it'd be good.

And was it??

Yes, it was. On the whole...

It was interesting and clever- a lot different from most films these days. I mean, it was just refreshing to watch a film where it's not just boy meets girl, they don't like each other, then they get married.

The plot, which sees Harvard University loser Mark Zuckerberg creating a website because he gets ditched by his girlfriend is good because it's relevent.

I mean, there is nothing more people think about more these days than what they're going to have as there Facebook status- so it seems sensible to educate the masses on how their social-life service came about.

Eisenberg is also brilliant in the lead role- playing the part of straight-talking Mark to perfection with his witty one-liners and brilliant, dead-pan comebacks.

Justin Timberlake also plays a good part as 'baddie' Sean Parker- however I really don't know why he's reverted back to his N-Sync poodle hair-do.

The only thing that annoyed me- and it really did annoy me- is the way women are portrayed in the film.

Don't get me wrong, I really am no feminist, but by watching the film, you'd just think every American girl is a jealous, slutty coke-head. The only glimmer of light is Zuckerber's original girlfriend Erica Albright who tells it to Mark straight at the start of the film saying:

"You're gonna go through life thinking girls don't like you becuase you're a nerd. Well you're wrong... it's because you're an arsehole."

Good words. But she's literally only in it for like a second. I know it's not a MAJOR thing, and obviously it isn't essential to the film, but I can't help but feel the director, David Fincher, is just saying that most girls 'go along for the ride' instead of actually creating their success themselves.

Anyway, is only a little qualm- apart from that, this film is deffo a winner, and I'm sure you'll be 'liking' it on Facebook the minute you get home!

4/5

ANYONE ELSE LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEWS SERIES OF 90210?

Becuase I certainly am... PHWOAR!

UMM... CAN YOU BACK OFF BECKS PLEASE?

Poor David! Look how glum he looks :(

No one with such a pretty face as him should be looking that sad!

Now I know I can't say for DEFFO that he didn't have the rumpy-pumpy with the prozzies, but I really don't think he did (if my opinion counts for anything- umm... lol).

So back off you evil women- and leave the man and his beautiful family alone!

WHY IS THIS MAN STILL ON OUR RADIO...?

Eww.

CHER GOT TOO MUCH HAIR!

So that Cher from the X-Factor was really good and that doing her catchy little Soulja Boy song.

But I think people are missing the real news here...

What is up with her hair?

I mean how is it THAT BIG. It literally looks like a birdnest! And why?

And I also can't wait for the stylists to give her a make-under- that is just TOO much foundation for a 16-year-old.

Sorry, just had to get it off my chest!!

SAVE ME THE POOR REALITY IMITATIONS PLEASE

OMG, what is with all the poor celebrity imitations these days...?!

I'm so fed up of seeing a reality 'star' doing a photoshoot where they are imiating someone (actually) famous- get over it already!

First up, we have former BB hothead John James posing in his kecks as his idol Becks...

Poor Imitation... John James

First of all, he doesn't even come close to the legend that it David Beckham. I mean, Becks is a world-class footballer who has trained his whole life to achieve his success. He is a loving father and a great mentor to the England team, as well as being absolutely gorgeous. Basically he is a god!

Then we have John James; a man so two-faced, they named him twice! He thinks he's 'famous' now because he was an utter pr*ck to his female housemates and told everyone he 'didn't give a rip'.

If I remember rightly, he also said in that house that they 'weren't gonna be superstars' when they came out of the house and that he would never do any magazines.

Fast-forward to now- five days after he left the house and he's already got his mug in a mag . Not only that, he announced on Twitter that he is 'going on tour'.

Going on tour?!

I thought you actually had to have a talent to go on tour- not just give a fake smile and a 'G'day' to your 'fans'.

What a joke. And what a hypocrite he is.

Also, that six-pack' looks like it's been drawn on by a five-year-old. Sort it out mate.

Next up, we have Rachel Onion-Baji or whatever her name is. She's in this weeks 'More' Mag posing as Beyonce.

On your bike!... Rachel Adedajei

I mean come on, why would she do that to herself? As if she'd ever come close to looking like Beyonce. No one could!

I just think it's sad that we have so many people in the public eye these days that actually do nothing. Like nothing. They go on TV shows and radio stations to talk about all the nothing they do. It's ridiculous.

Get your own identity. Get a real job. And then F-Off please.

A NOT SO MARVELLOUS MARILYN...

It has been reported that Angelina Jolie is set to play Marilyn Monroe in a film based on the Hollywood icon.

The producers of ' The Life And Opinions Of Maf The Dog, And Of His Friend Marilyn Monroe' seem to be pulling out all the stops cast-wise as George Clooney has been lined up as her co-star; playing legend Frank Sinatra.

However, do you think Jolie's right for the part?

Although she's a great actress and a gorgeous woman, she just doesn't suit being blonde to me (see pic above) and it just makes me think that it will detract away from the film.

Surely they could have tried to get someone who resembled the icon just a little bit? I mean, she hasn't even got the same body shape as Marilyn- who had a curvaceous size-16 frame, compared to Jolie's althletic build.

Just seems odd to me...

*SHOCK ALERT* AMY WINEHOUSE COVERS UP!

We're all so used to seeing Amy Winehouse's bra hanging out of a low-cut top that I was actually shocked when I saw these latest pics of La Winehouse...

Amy was snapped on a night out in London, (wait for it...) COVERED UP!

Yes, that's right, the 'Rehab' singer actually didn't have her new surgically-enchanced bazookers out on display for once in her life.

And doesn't she look better for it?!

SO much classier.

Keep it up Amy! (Literally)

TIME TO TAKE A BOW BECKS...

There's been an uproar of outrage in the last few days as Fabio Capello announced live on TV that he no longer considers David Beckham as part of the England team.

Beckam and the England fans were disgusted at the way Capello didn't even think to tell Becks to his face that he was no longer part of the team- just leaving him to find out on national TV.

And, although I agree that the way Capello went about it was totally wrong- I do agree with his decision.

I mean, Becks is 35 now. I know that's not old generally, but for a footballer it's pretty ancient, considering players can join the Premier Leage at 16.

By the time the next world cup comes around- he will be 39, and quite franky will probably not be fit enough to be in a world championship.

Of course every England fan loves Becks. He's strong, charismatic and a good leader in the team, but it's time for new talent to shine through and have their day.

We need energy and excitement to breathe new life into the team- and young players will bring that. It will be their enthusiasm and hunger that will enable us to get over this world cup disappointment and start preparing for the next one.

Apparently, Becks has turned down Capello's offer of playing a 'farewell match' and has insisted that he will 'fight his way back into the team'.

If he was ten years younger, I'd say good on him. But, I don't think this is the right attitude to have when he must know he's nearing the end of his career.

Surely he wants to let new talent have their chance? Isn't that why he set up his Football Academy?

Even when he does eventually retire, it's not like he will be short of work. I mean, he's forever the face of a new advertising campaign, and could easily move into coaching with his leadership skills.

I do love you Becks, but maybe it's time to hang up your Goldenballs once and for all...

WHAT'S TATT ALL ABOUT BEYONCE?!

Beyonce usually makes me uber jealous everytime she does a photoshoot- I mean, the woman can usually do no wrong in my eyes...

But... her latest fashion shoot seems kind of, um... wrong.

Basically, to promote the line of her Dereon clothing, she's decided to do a short blonde wig (okay not too bad) and hundreds of stick-on tatts... (WHAT?!)

Yes the bootylicious beauty has decided to cover all her lovely curves with black tattoos of all sorts of things such as chains, spiders, wings and skulls.

One word- WHY?!

I mean, this is the hottest woman in the world we are talking about right here, the orignal diva. Why does she need to resort to such gimmicky and attention-seeking behaviour to promote her clothes?

Surely she must realise her fans like her the way she is- glamourous and fabulous- she doesn't have to prove that she's edgy to win fans.

I mean, I know artists like to keep with the times and adapt to what the fashion is, but Beyonce that unique type of artist who doesn't need to do that- her voice and personality do all the work for her- she doesn't have to act like Gaga to stay popular!

At the end of the day, I know it's only one shoot, but it just feels uncomfortable and like she's not being herself.

I mean, it certainly wasn't broke, so she shouldn't have fixed it.

Check out the rest of the pics below...

TAYLOR MOMSEN= IDIOT

Tenn 'wildchild' Taylor Momsen has claimed that she doesn't know who Justin Bieber is.

The deluded blonde said:

"I listen to Led Zeppelin and The Beatles, so I have no idea who he is. That's not a diss, I just don't know [who he is]."

Yeh whatever!

Of course she knows who he is- everyone pretty much knows who he is! I mean, you must have been living in a bubble to not know about Bieber- he's been in the news like everyday since he arrived on the scene!

And you'd definitely have to be blind to not notice him when your in the music industry yourself like Momsen is.

It's just another example of her trying to be edgy and cool and it's sooo pathetic! I mean, she's claimed that she takes knives on planes and that she's slept with a priest- whatever next??

I guess its just her showing her age- I mean she's only 17 and it definitely shows. Her actions are just so attention-seeking and riduculous that it's actually hard to watch.

Surely her parents or someone close to her should tell her that she's being an immature little brat?

I mean, what normal 17-year-old goes around wearing stripper heels and stockings everyday??

That girl needs to sort her issues out and actually do something worthwhile to get the attention she craves, rather than just acting like a little hussy.

NEW YORK IS DEFINITELY ON THE RIGHT NOTE!

Oh how I love New York!

I have only been once in my life and that was on a school trip when it was covered in a ridiculous amount of snow, but I could still feel the magic of the place even then.

The latest reason for my love declaration is the latest project by a capaigning group called 'Sing For Hope'. They distrubuted pianos all around the city for 2 weeks, inviting the public to play for each other.

How cute is that?!

I mean, it would actually be like being in a real-life musical or something haha, just casually walk down the street and have a good sing-song!

The guy who set it all up said he had the idea because he was sick of going into the same laundrette each week with the same people but not ever uttering a word to them. He said he thought something like a piano would bring everyone together.

And he was right; massive crowds have been gathering in New York to listen to passers-by show their skills to the rest of the city. It makes sense really, as music is such a massive part of everyday life and can really bring a community together.

I think it's a great way for people to bond, and also just brings a bit of brightness to the struggles of everyday life. Who wouldn't like having a go at entertaining their city for a day?!

The fact is though, that there aren't many places where this idea would actually work. I mean, New York is just such a powerhouse of art and free-thinking people from all over the world that it's appreciated by it's citizens. I mean, I don't think it would have quite the same in Pompey Highstreet. It would probably be vandalized in about 10 minutes.

That's why I MUST live in New York at some point in my life.

MUST!

Even if it's only for just a few months, I would actually love to declare that I am a resident of the 'Big Apple' and ask for a 'cwaffe'. You could say it's a dream of mine...

Let's hope one day it's a reality!

THE ERA OF THE CRINGE...

Not being funny right, but when did our world get so cringey?

I mean seriously, it's kind of a massive joke.

Where are the days when we kept our emotions to ourselves and snorted at anyone who made big declarations or got too publicly emotional. I miss them days...

Okay, I am taking the piss a little bit, but I do honestly feel like the world is literally full of 'sugar and spice and all things nice' right now.

I mean, you can't go five minutes without seeing/hearing an 'I love you', or 'you're amazing' or even 'hey baby boy/girl'. It rather makes me want to vom.

I'm not saying that I don't care for anyone or have never been in love. Of course I have, I just don't feel the need to declare it to the world every second of my actual life.

Maybe it's just be being a scroodge or whatever, but I kinda think it devalues things, I mean, if you tell someone EVERYDAY, it like takes away the specialness (even a word?) of the meaning, I personally think.

Like, people who are that close to you should know how much you care for them. They should know it from the way you treat them and the things you do for them, not in the simple words that are regularly thrown around rather carelessly these days.

I mean sure they can talk the talk, but can they walk the walk? You only have to look at 'The Apprentice' to see that people just chat shit most of the time.

And right, it really bugs me when people act and lovey dovey to you on Facebook, but then you go to chat to them in REAL LIFE (shock horror) and they act like you're from outter-space or something- very annoying!

And then we have TV... my idea of TV heaven is something like 'Friends' where they constantly rip the piss outta each other, but deep down you know they all care about each other. That's what I like- subtle love...

But NOW we have stuff like 'Glee', which is so cliche it actually hurts a little. I mean, why go around declaring what a great person you are (blah blah) how you love each other (more blah), just GET ON WITH IT. Sue Sylvester is the only thing that saves that show, I tell thee.

Then we have got BGT, I mean, I'm not denying it's damn funny at times, but it's sooooo self-indulgent when it gets to the finals. Everyone's so emotional 'coz I've wanted it my whole life' and they cry so much and everyone pats each other on the back because they're all so great. I mean come on, whatever happened to fair competition and honesty? I mean, a bunch of dancers isn't gonna change the world really is it?

You probably think I'm a moody cow, and you're probably right. But I really don't care. The way I see it, if I tell someone that I love them and care about them a lot, at least they know that I'm being truthul and that I care an awful lot about them to say that, instead of them being 'one of many'.

So next time you go to write/say 'love you babe' or 'you're the most amazing person ever', just take a second to think about whether you ACTUALLY mean it.

That is all I ask :D

HEIDI WAS A PRATT TO MARRY SPENCER

News comes that Heidi Montag has FINALLY split with Spencer Pratt...

Thank God for that!

I mean, why has it taken her this long to see what a weirdo he truely is?! Ever since she hooked up with him back in 2007, he life has just spiralled out of control.

First, she fell out with her amazing bff Lauren Conrad, which was a HUGE mistake. She stupidly decided to pick rat spencer of her loving and loyal pal and in turn lost the rest of her mates too, which left her miserable and lacking in a social life.

Then, she ruined her chances of promotion in her job because Spencer came over a messed up a meeting with her boss in Vegas.

She then went on to get masses of surgery, no doubt encouraged by Spencer, which left her looking like a warped Barbie doll and caused her to fall out with her mum Darlene when she told her (quite rightly) that she looked better before the surgery.

She went on to take a restraining order out on her.

I mean, how harsh do you have to be to take a restraining order out on your own mum who has done nothing more than give you her honest and caring opinion?!

It seems as if Heidi has finally seen that Spencer is the one who started and encouraged this erratic behaviour and realised she needs him out of her life.

I'm glad she's finally seen this, however I feel that it may be too late for the blonde to get her life back. I mean, her betrayal of Lauren over the years has become to strong for the ever to be a chance of a proper reconcilliation, and her realtionship with her mum will never be the same after how's she's treated her in the last few weeks.

She's also ruined her looks with way too much surgery, and the minute she realsies that, I think she's going to totally break down.

She said she wants to become a proper actress, but how can she with so much surgery? Surely you can't convey deep emotions with that much plastic in your face? The only parts she'll be getting are joke cameos.

I'm not trying to have a go at her, I think it's really sad what happened to her. She was bright bubbly and beautiful when we first met her on our screens, and now she's a shaddow of her former sense, and it's all down to Spencer.

He should feel ashamed of himself for the negative effective he's had on his wife. He made her feel so insecure about herself that she lost all her friends and social life and mutilated her face and body so that she looked like a completely different person.

I hope he never gets the chance to do it to so poor other girl again in his lifetime.

BEFORE:

Heidi with best pal Lauren Conrad pre-surgery

AFTER:

Showing off her enhanced look on the red carpet

CHERYL AND WILL.I.AM= CHESSIEST GRINS EVER!

Cheryl Cole has reportedly denied that her relationship with BEP star Will.I.Am has become romantic, however, seeing this picture of them above, it's plain to see that the two share a special bond at least...

I mean, just look at the smiles on their faces- it actually looks like they're going to burst with happiness!

Even if it's not romantic, I think it's good for the gorgeous starlet that she's got another man to take her mind off that idiot Ashley!

I means he's only 26, she's got her whole life ahead of her!

The picture was taken at the Cannes Festival, where the starlet got paid a reported £250,000 for a one-night performance! Not bad work if you can get it huh Chezza!

Cheryl awarded Will with a cheeky dance and kiss after her flew straight from the World Music Awards in Monacco to play a DJ set for her.

Ahh what a sweetie- just don't become a 'Heartbreaker' will you!

GREEDY GAGA GONE TOO FAR?

News comes today that Lady Gaga is set to release a THIRD version of her debut album 'The Fame.'

Yes, not content with releasing it twice, Gaga has decided to do the triple, and release, yes you've guessed it, The Fame- remixes.

Seriously?

How much money does she actually wanna make from one album?

She's already rinsed her fans enough by re-releasing the same album the first time, just with a few more songs as 'Fame Monster'.

She also screwed fans over by bumping up the price of her tour, with tickets for it's first leg costing just £30, however now they are £50-£70!

For a woman who says she loves all her 'little monsters', she has a funny way of showing it...

Sort it out Gaga, or your 'little monsters' will bite back!

BAR RAFAELI TEAMS UP WITH JERSEY SHORE BOYS FOR INTERVIEW SHOOT

Yes gorgeous supermodel and ex-girlfriend of Leonardo Di Caprio, Bar Rafaeli got a shock when she turned up on the set of her photoshoot with magazine 'Interview' as she was met by the uber-tanned 'Jersey Shore' boys!

Yes Ronnie, Vinny, Mike (The 'Situation) and Pauly D got their orange mitts on Miss Rafaeli in what was a very sexy, but rather random photoshoot.

During the shots, the MTV boys got to man-handle the model and even had her take a bite of their massive sub... very saucy!

The reality boys have quickly shot to fame in America, where they are household names.

Mike a.k.a. 'The Situation' has even claimed their as big as The Beatles, saying:

"Oh man, it's just unbelievable. Everywhere I go, there's just mass amounts of people. There's people showing up at airports, wanting autographs, girls, it's insane. It's like The Beatles, man."

Hmm, think he's exaggerating just a little!

They boys are funny though, and so are the pics- check them out!

'The Situation'... Mike

Hungry?

Getting to grips with Ronnie...

OH-MY-GEE, HEIDI MONTAG'S GONE CRAZY!

No, it's not a barbie doll, it's actually a real person... just. Yes, it's Mrs 'Plastic Fantastic' herself, Heidi Montag... a.k.a. Mrs Pratt.

And she certainly lives up to her title.

The 23-year-old stripped off and showed the world the result of all that surgery to promote her new bikini line.

The only thing she really promoted was bad use of surgery. I mean, she ACTUALLY looks like a doll- all shiny and plasticy, I'm not surprised she didn't melt in the LA sun!

It actually is kind of ridiculous, I mean, look at the size of her boobs! They just look silly.

And that's not the worst part, she actually wants them EVEN bigger, saying:

'I legally can't right now.

'The limit is 800cc and I have 700cc.'

There should be a limit to how much surgery someone can have in full, because this girl's got issues.

I mean, she was such a pretty girl beforehand, and now she's just ruined herself.

Heidi admitted that it's not just her looks that have changed, she now find it hard to jog or even be comforted by friends, saying:

I'm very weird about hugging people now - [my body] is very fragile.'

You know you've gone too far when you can't even hug-it-out with your mates...

Get help Heidi... NOW.

TAKE A BITE OUT OF R-PATZ!

Usually it's him doing all the biting as vampire Edward Cullen in the Twilight films, however now you get the chance to sink your teeth into the sexy one as a chocolate version of him has been made!

Yes, the genius food-crafter Prudence Staite spent two whole weeks crafting the 18kg solid R-Patz after he was voted 'Tastiest Celeb' by LoveFilm voters.

Johnny Depp only just missed out on the top spot- getting 15% of the vote compared to Pattinson's 16%. Gerard Butler came in third position with 11%.

Click here for your chance to wink this tasty treat!

Yum!

GABRIELLA GETS NAKED

Well, semi-naked anyway!

Yes, Gabriella Cilmi has gone the route of taking her cothes off to boost her record sales.

The popstrel is only eighteen, but decided it was time she got them 'out for the lads' in a photoshoot with FHM.

I noticed that the video for her new single 'On a Mission' was far raucnhier than her first offering 'Sweet About Me' as she features clad in revealing Gaga-esque outfits, and thought then she was probably gonna 'sex things up' to boost her profile, and it seems I was right.

Speaking of the shoot she said:

"Italian women are taught to celebrate their figures, so as long as I am comfortable with the photographer and confident the shoot is going to look classy, I’m not afraid of showing off my body."

WOW- JENNIFER HUDSON LOOKS AMAZING!

How good does Jennifer Hudson look?!

She looked absolutely gorgeous yesterday on appearance on 'Good Morning America' to promote the fact that she's the new face (and body) of Weight Watchers.

I can see why they wanted her- she looks so good after losing 60lbs after the birth of son David last August.

She out her new figure down to 'sensible eating' and following the Weight Watchhers points system.

Well it's definitely worked; she looks stunning!

KYLIE IS UK'S MOST POWERFUL CELEB... REALLY?!

News comes today that Kylie Minogue has been voted 'most powerful UK celebrity' in a poll conducted by Millward Brown.

The quizzed 2,000 consumers about 100 different celebs to find out who was most liked and talked about, and the pint-sized popstar came out on top.

Now, Kylie's nice and all and she's definitely been through a lot, but most powerful UK celeb?

To start off with, she's not even British! She's from Australia! And secondly, Kylie isn't exactly in the media spotlight much these days- so how can she be powerful to our nation?

Cheryl Cole came second, which is a little more understandable- considering she is in every magazine/newspaper daily about her struggles, and she is probably the biggest style icon or young girls right now, but I just don't get Kylie being first?

Coming third was David Beckham, which was a little silly considering he doesn't even live in the UK anymore.

Other far more appropriate celebs to feature were Joanna Lumley, who has done some fantastic campaigning for the Gurkas, and Jamie Oliver who has tirelessly campaigned to get healthier schooldinners.

CHAR IS A BIG FAT LIAR (IN A SKINNY BOD!)

Miss Charlotte Church has suddenly decided to lay off the choccies and slim down and that's great!

She looks fantastic and is glowing in her latest photoshoot; dressed in a LBD and wearing daring purple lipstick.

However, what troubles me was what came OUT of her mouth- not what's gone in it.

Yes, the 24-year-old songstress claimed in 'Closer' magazine' this week that she 'would be just as happy if she was a size 20'.

WHAT.EVER.

If you would be so happy in a size 20, then why did you go to all the bother of losing weight?

I mean, it's just plain stupid.

And right, it really annoys me that people can harp on about 'how they love their curves' and stuff if they are overweight, but if anyone dares mention that they love being skinny, then they are made to feel like a criminal.

I mean, if Charlotte has said, 'I'd love to be a size 0', she would have been hung out to dry by the media, but because she said she wouldn't mind be a size 20 (which is essentially obese), she has been hailed a hero.

It's ridiculous and downright wrong. Being overweight is just a serious threat than being underweight- there are numerous health issues such as diabetes, heart problems, cholesterol etc. etc. that cause the health service millions of pounds that could be used on helping seriously ill people.

I mean, I'm not putting everyone that size into the same box, because obviously some people are overweight due to medical reasons. But the people that eat their way into that weight are just being plain lazy and selfish, or they need to seek help for their emotional instability as they are obviously replacing food for the love that they crave.

So when a celebrity comes along and celebrates it, it just annoys me.

Next time, think before you speak Miss Church, because we all know you love yourself just a little bit more you fit into that size 8.

BECAUSE ANGELA SAID SO...

This article is stupid- http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1257069/Why-chocolate-better-blueberries-low-fat-food-wont-help-slim-The-diet-myths-ruining-health.html

It's another story that goes 'oh healthy eating is actually not very good for you'.

Well it is, so SHUT.UP.

I mean, take this, it's headline is: 'Why chocolate it better for you than blueberries'.

Excuse me, but I don't think blueberries are choc-ful (excuse the pun) of saturated fat!

I read on to see what their pathetic excuse existed of...

They claimed the sweet stuff was oh-so-much better for you because:

'Blueberries score highly on the oxygen radical absorbance capacity (ORAC) scale, but scientists are finding foods that are even higher - including dark chocolate.'

This 'reliable' information was given to us by someone called 'Angela'.

Angela?? Who the hell is Angela?

It doesn't even say Dr. Angela, or Angela, food scientist. It literally just says Angela.

I mean, they could have literally just picked someone off the street and said, "Oi love, what do you prefer- chocolate or blueberries?" It's actually a joke.

And even if chocolate DID have a few more anti-oxidants, it's still got more sugar and fat and would definitely make your arse grow much more than a tub of blueberries would.

I mean, what are these people on? Newspapers and magazines harp on about obesity rates daily saying how Britain is turning into a 'nation of fatties', well I'm not suprized if people are reading articles like this!

You can't go around telling everyone to eat healthily and then say "Oh chocolate is soooooo much healthier than fruit" because it's not!

They blatently just had webspace to fill so they decided to write some terrible artcle about 'health myths' that aren't even true and no one cares about.

Well don't!

If you've got nothing useful to say then shut the hell up and stop typing this rubbish.

CHECK OUT AGYNESS!

Wow! How good does Agyness Deyn look?

The supermodel went for a more vintage look on set for her first acting role in film 'Mean to Me'.

I think she looks amazing! Definitely keep it Agy!

BLOATED BANKERS ARE LEAVING US ALL SHORT-CHANGED...

News came yesterday that The Royal Bank of Scotland have given out £1.3. BILLION in bonuses to it's investment bankers, despite admitting that it could be years before they pay back the £50m we gave them to bail them out.

UK taxpayers now own 84% of the bank after the government saved it from collapse late in 2008.

However, itstead of doing the DECENT thing and pay back the owed money, RBS bosses have decided to pay their fatcats a big old wage instead.

It's absolutely disgusting.

RBS boss, Stephen Hester, wrote in a column in 'The Sun' that 'this is the only way the money invested... can be profitably recovered.'

What the hell is he on about?!

You actually need to PAY BACK the money for it to be recovered mate, not spend it all by giving all your mateys a big pack-packet!

He justifies the bonuses by saying that he 'needs the best workers' and says that they will go somewhere else if they don't get paid enough.

Well let them then! I'm not being funny, but has he not heard of the umemployment rate at the moment?? There would be thousands of capable people that would be chewing at the bit to have the job, we don't need these bloated middle-aged fools.

All they need is good management and to start re-paying their debt and everything will be sorted.

Mr Hester also needs to realise that we're in a frickin' recession. It's meant to be a time to think about others, not yourself. The public seem to be able to do this- neighbours sharing car journeys, friends cooking for each other. So why can't the banks?

Why can't they stop thinking about themselves for once and do the best thing for their country?

I mean, that bailout money could have been spent on NHS, schools and public services, but instead it was spent on them idiots.

Mr Hester further argued that these bankers were the ones that sorted the crisis, so they should be rewarded.

No mate. THEY were the ones that created this mess anyway and WE as the taxpayers sorted your crisis. WE gave you the money. I mean, it's simple really, if you give a company free produce, then, of course, they're gonna make a profit.

It's got nothing to do with your eejits over at RBS!

I think the government needs to step in and stop this daylight-robbery from occuring. At the moment, they're basically letting the banks stomp all over them.

We need to show them that an 84% share means WE'RE the boss!

LEONAS BEEN LET LOOSE...

So, it's been three days and three 'shocking revelations' from Leona Lewis.

Yes, the girl that we all know as being, well, a bit of a sap, from the X-Factor, has been

showing herself in a different light just recently.

First we had her branching out at The Brits ceremony, dressed in a silver 'space-age' dress complete with neon pink lipstick and shoes.

Then, she was telling us at the Elle Style Awards

that she lost two dress sizes from drinking only water for a month.

And now today, she has unveiled a new tattoo running down her back.

I mean, it's a tattoo dedicated to horses, so it's not that controversial, but it's still a tattoo nonetheless!

Now, is this the 'real Leona' coming out?

Well, considering she's never been like this before and just told us she was a 'normal girl' on The X-Factor I don't think so...

Seems to me like Leona's sold herself out just to boost press coverage for her new material coming out...

Scandalous!

The tattoo... a dedication to horses

New slimline figure... dressed in Alexander McQueen

Spacey Lady... dressed to impressed at The Brits

LOW-FAT CHOCOLATE? DREAMS DO COME TRUE...

News comes today that those clever scientists have invented low-fat chocolate... I repeat LOW-FAT CHOCOLATE!!!

Yes, those amazing nerds have invented a choccie bar that is 60% water... so 60% less calories!!! And apparently it even tastes the same as a normal bar of delicious dairy milk.

Team leader, Dr Philip Cox, said: ‘It is possible that small, stable, air bubbles designed to resemble oil droplets in terms of their size and physical properties could be used to produce a new generation of low fat foods.’

AND... he even insists it tastes the same! I think he's my new favourite person.

The same boffins have also come up with a porridge that can keep you full for a whole 6 hours!

So say goodbye to bingo wings and hello to bikini bods... waheeeey!!!

ROYALLY WRONG!

Prince William is the latest coverboy for 'Hello' Magazine.

What the actual?!

He is the king-to-be, why the hell is he doing an interview for a tacky celebrity magazine?

I though the royals were the height of class...

What with Gordon Brown telling his life-story to Piers Morgan, and now this, what are we going to have next? Bikini shots of the Queen?!

I think this is taking celeb culture just a little bit too far...

P.s. black hair? Really...?

NOT MUCH LOVE FOR VALENTINES DAY...

Ever since British hit 'Love Actually' graced our screens in 2003 with it's multi-charactered, humourous and enaging plot, American scriptwriters have been trying to emulate it's success.

First up, we had Ken Kwapsis's 'He's Just Not That Into You' (2009), which told the story of inter-connecting relationships of the people of Baltimore.

I just wasn't into it.

Not only was it really cheesy and not even funny, but I just kept thinking all the way through, 'Love Actually is soooo much better than this!'

And, unfortunately, I was thinking the same through this film. Albeit it, not as much, but still so...

I mean, it had everything you could want. Good set-ups, an attractive cast, etc. etc. but it just lacked the magic that Richard Curtis brought to 'Love Actually'.

You could just see that the director was desperately trying to be funny and create this clever storyline, but it didn't really work entirely. It was kind of like getting a box of valentines chocs and finding that they're all coffee-flavoured.

But anyway, what the storyline??

Well... There's a cute kid, an old couple, a young couple, a 'just-got-together' couple, a desperate single, strangers on a plane, 'best-friends', and a couple of teen couples... Phew!

Yes, as you can see, there are ALOT of characters.

The main character the story is centered around is Ashton Kutcher (What Happens In Vegas) who plays the loveable florist 'Reed'.

The stories all connect around him and his flower store, bringing the whole movie together. Believable? No. Convenient? Yes!

As well as Kutcher, there are other big names such as Jessica Alba, Jessica Beil, Julia Roberts, Jennifer Garner, Bradley Cooper and Topher Grace who all play their part in the big 'v-day parade'.

Comic moments come from Anne Hathaway, who plays a skint 'poetry-major' moonlighting as a sex caller.

There is also funny sketches from Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift who play a ditzy teen couple.

The film does have it's laughs and brief moments of surprise and brilliance, however, there are just too many characters, meaning you don't really get emotionally involved enough to really care about any of them.

Sorry, but I just am not feeling the love for 'Valentines Day'!